It’s that time of year again. Just when you think that summer is coming to a quiet lull of relaxation, the 4th of July is here to wake you up with some good ole American patriotism. What blowing stuff up has to do with our country’s independence is yet to be determined, but if that’s “American tradition” then who are we to argue?? So put on your blue jeans (that still fit, fingers crossed) and your tackiest American flag shirt to ensure you are brightest star this country has to offer.
Though we are a young country, we are a great one. This holiday commemorates July 4th, 1776: the day a collection of our brave, founding fathers signed The Declaration of Independence, thereby severing the colonies from English control. Perfectly embodying the free American spirit, the Declaration of Independence has set the tone for the rest of our country’s history and development.
With all this holiday-hullabaloo, most people lose sight of one of the truest American virtues: safety.
Just do the exact opposite of these following tips and we guarantee that you will have your most show-stopping 4th of July yet!
- Hold the fireworks close to your face as you light them so you can get an inside look at how they work!
- Make sure to light fireworks close to your small dog so they know where the noise is coming from and won’t be scared!
- Want an authentic 4th of July? Have a large crowd stand nearby the firework launch site so they can get the true patriotic feel that our founding fathers experienced under gunfire in the Revolutionary War.
- Want to be the star of the show? Wear the most flammable clothing possible to really sparkle!
- Consume heavy mayonnaise-based potato salad and at least 10 hotdogs to feel full and satisfied for the long journey of standing and lighting fireworks that awaits you. Who cares if your full belly renders you completely useless in the event that you must run away from a stray firework?
- Show your kids how much you trust them by letting them light the fireworks; they’ve going to have to grow up some time!
- Tired of spending big bucks on fireworks but still want the pizazz of a big show? Try DIY fireworks! This new trend will put your craftiness to the test!
- Be sure to douse your fireworks in quality gasoline to avoid any disappointment from possible duds.
All jokes aside, we wish that you have a happy and safe 4th of July. Though fireworks definitely contribute to the holiday spirit, please be sure to exercise caution if you are lighting them or are nearby someone else who is.